24 October 2005

HOW BLUE CAN YOU GET?

Well it finally hit, I’m not at home and I’m feeling lonely. It’s been three days since I’ve spoken to anyone, and I’m about to head into a two-week (thirteen out of fourteen days) training session with only Thais, whose English isn’t very good, meaning two weeks of not talking to anyone.

I’ve been having lunch with a group of young people from all over the world who work in my and similar organisations and I hadn’t realised how important my lunchtime conversations had become as a source of friendship, words, conversations, interaction and stimulation.

This is the first time that I’ve not really felt like I’m at home, and I want to be. I haven’t really felt any culture shock here as it’s all too similar, and I’ve maintained enough contact with people at home and new friends here. Now that later support has been temporarily taken away and I don’t want to put too much onto those at home. I’ve finally got isolated. I think I’ll write a few emails and talk about things, but I don’t want to be a burden anyone and ultimately any change to my circumstances will come from me and what I do here.

(Yes, I know putting this here will put pressure on others to do something, but that’s not the point of my writing this. This is a discussion I’m having with myself that I’m sharing so that you understand what’s going on. Afterwards everything will be OK.)

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