PHI PHI

This weekend I flew to Phuket to meet up with my parents who’re here for 2 weeks holidays. The hotel sent a car to meet me when I arrived, my first taste of luxury. Very different to when I flew into Udon Thani in the north of Thailand. 3 friends and I arrived at 11.30pm, stepped out of the airport to get a cab, to find the place bereft of public transport. A few passengers looked at us strangely as they got picked up by their families. We bumbled around trying to find a cab, and then they started turning off the lights and locking up the airport. In broken Thai we managed to accosted a security guard for help. He called his brother who came and gave us a lift in the back of his pick-up truck for 100 Baht. Too easy.

Anyway, so I arrived in Phuket. Mum and Dad flew in Saturday morning and we spent the day pottering around the hotel/resort while they got over jet lag.

Sunday we took a boat trip around Phi Phi. Getting over my, ‘oh my God, I’m such a tourist’ feel I had a great day hooning around tropical islands and snorkelling. My favourite fish was neon pink, purple and turquoise. So 1988.

The trip home was one fraught with tension. I was due into Bangkok at 10.45, Australia was due to kick-off against Brazil at 11.00. I knew my airline was regularly 45mins late, that it was a minimum 30mins trip to the pub, and that I could wait 1 hour for a cab at the airport. Mission Impossible was go, the lit fuse was running across the bottom of the screen.

At check the girl said “will be 15 minutes delay”, smiling I said I’ll take that, then noticed that my boarding time was 45 minutes later than expected. “Delay sip-haa?” I asked, “No, haa-sip”. Great, 50 minutes, not 15 minutes.

We arrived into Bangkok at 11.50, my friend had texted me the 0-0 half-time score. I stepped out the airport to see a long queue waiting at the taxi rank, and a few taxi drivers mulling around trying to scab a fair. Normally I don’t go for the scalpers, my sense of justice and all that, but this was a special occasion. Think stealing a loaf of bread to feed the family. “How much?” “500Baht (US$12)” the trip would normally cost 300. “Done, let’s go”.

The roads were clear, the speed topped 140km/hr on the highway, and we only got slowed down on the side streets near the pub by door-deep floodwaters. I made it with 30mins to go, 1-0 down, plenty of excitement left and my Brazilian friend jumping up and down.

AUSTRALIA: 0

BRAZIL: 2

CHANCES OF GOING THROUGH: Still good, bad luck Croatia.

QUESTION: How does a guy called ‘Fred’ get a game for Brazil?

THE KING LOVES FOOTBALL

Well, it’s about as big a King day as you can get. It’s the coronation ceremony, the barge ceremony goes off for proper, and there’s a state ceremony and dinner will over monarchs from all over the planet.

It’s also Australia’s first match at the world cup in 30 years, kick off 8pm against Japan. We’ve got our plans - we’re heading to a beer garden with a cinema screen/projector, we even have alternate destination in case it’s rains. The game’s being shown on Thai domestic TV, as are all matches, nothings on Thai cable.

Bangkok’s quiet all day as it’s a public holiday and most people have gone to the river or away on holiday. Excitement builds amongst my friends and I, before we rendezvous in the beer garden at 7.00. We grab a couple beers, grab a table at the front and are glad to see a few Japanese tables around us – it’s always better to have someone to heckle.

7.50 rolls around, and the TV’s still showing the King’s ceremony. 7.55, still the King. 8.00, still the King, OK panic. At 8 everyday there’s KingTV on one channel – a half hour update of what the royals did that day, this is different, it’s live from the ceremony. We call the waiter over, he flicks through the Thai channels, the ceremony’s on all of them. AAGGHH! 8.15 rolls around, the ceremony looks like it’s got a long way to go.

We bailed out of the beer garden, heading to the Irish pubs 2 train stops away. A policeman stops us entering the skytrain station, all traffic on the road is stopped. They’ve blocked off the area for dignitaries leaving the ceremony, and we’re trapped without access to the pubs. Shit, what to do? Where to go? Come on think?

Got it! The Bus Stop, a girly bar 2 streets away, has cable from Papua New Guinea! We got in 30 mins late to find the game on. Yes! It was even the Australian SBS feed so we got to see the Australian soccer nuts talking about how happy they were to be in the world cup after years of being marginalised by Australia’s other sports.

We’re down 1-0, 5 mins left. We equalise, yelling! We take the lead, jumping up and down! We score again, pandemonium!

If only I didn’t have an exam tomorrow I’d be getting in a round of shots.

AUSTRALIA: 3

JAPAN: 1

KING WEEKEND

Yesterday marked the 60th anniversary of the Thai King's coronation, and the town's been going King-crazy for a week. The royal colour is yellow (a very vivid yellow), as the king was born on a Monday and Monday's colour is yellow - so yesterday everyone (literally everyone) was wearing a vivid yellow T-shirt. There's normally 10% of the population walking around in one, but yesterday (and this weekend) it was a yellow sea. I asked a Thai colleague what colour the princess is ‘purple’ in a heartbeat, what about the prince ‘don’t care’ with venom. No one likes the playboy Prince, everyone loves the hard working, caring Princess. A few years ago the princess was elevated to the ‘crown’ status so that she can contest her elder brother for the crown, as that’s what the people want and the king obviously recognises the greater quality of his daughter.

The key ceremony over the weekend was the royal barge ceremony – basically the King floating down the river on one of the seven royal barges, all the barges are sailed as well. Friday was the practice run, Monday the full ceremony. Friday was also the anniversary day, and Fri-Tue were public holidays.

On the Friday 800,000 Thais went to the river to watch the rehearsal, and similar numbers on Monday. Tears of love flowed everywhere, people were there all day, hoping to catch a glimpse of the King.

I’ve never seen devotion like it. He’s revered, but not seen as a God, more as the most wonderful person to the power of infinity. Throughout Bangkok there’s pictures of the King, many skyscrapers have multistorey pictures. They’re put up by choice, as a sign of the affection of the people and the company owners. My Thai teacher was so excited to tell us that her foreign boss had agreed to let the staff wear the yellow shirts on every Monday that she could barely contain herself. There’s absolutely no reservations, consternations or cynicism in their love for the King.

The King’s a constitutional monarch, but rules the hearts. Earlier this year, during Thailand’s political crisis, there were many pleas for him to step in and appoint the prime minister, an act that’s barely constitutional. He was able to see the bigger picture and declined, turning the issue back to the electoral and constitutional court. That respect for the democracy of his nation is something that politicians the world over could learn from.

THAI MEETING

I went to my first completely and properly Thai meeting today. It was between two government departments, with the department heads leading (what circles I move in these days!), discussing disaster stuff.

It was brilliant to see an ‘Asian meeting’ in effect. My management textbooks (blurgh) had been telling me for years that ‘Asian meetings’ will talk around the topic, be very positive about everything, and try to reach consensus. And, dang it, they’re right. There was a four point agenda, and everyone, and I mean all 25 attendees said something about them, and said nice things about the other people’s statements. There wasn’t any ‘discussion’ in the western way, debate and critiquing of each others’ point of view. Instead, if they held a different point of view second speaker would just state their opinion without denigrating the others. Consensus arose by adding all those points together. After the meeting closed, as everyone was leading the leaders vocalised that consensus, and a decision was made.

Very different to a ‘Western meeting’ in which each agenda item and idea would be discussed and debated in order, decisions made along the way and then action points assigned.

Encouragingly I was able to follow bits and pieces - or more accurately, I picked up words I knew as we went along that allowed me to get the gist

I’ve also noticed that since I’ve been here I’m talking in stereotypes a lot more. Most of our discussions focus on national, regional and international topics and the only way to be able to do that is to use a generalisation ‘Asians think like this…’ ‘Indians see it that way…’, otherwise you get bogged down in caveats and can’t talk about issues. I think that’s OK, as long as you remember that they’re only rules of thumb, need to be constantly re-evaluated and updated, and that you don’t apply them to an individual. There’s a big difference between saying ‘Thai’s like to have fun at work and talk to their friends rather than concentrating on work’ and ‘Thai’s like to talk to their friends at work, therefore as you’re Thai you are lazy’.

THE RAINY SEASON

After a month of 37oC and 75% humidity the rainy season really broke three days ago, with rain, thunder and lightning that’s remarkable.

Tonight the rain came while I was eating in a restaurant around the corner from my house. When a pretty girl and her mum left, the debonair young waiter carried a garden umbrella, keeping them shelter while he got wet, until they reached the train station. Water had flooded the sidewalk leaving only a small strip or dry land, so while the women kept their feet dry he ruined his shoes. Chivalry is not dead. When I left, a restaurant scullion came out and offered to escort me under a foldout umbrella. I know my place.

At Phaya Thai Court, after just 30mins of rain the entire forecourt, covering 100m2 was 3 inches deep in water. Things look grave, as the pool is filling to a point that it threatens to flow over. I have a 6inch clearance to my front door, and I’m hoping its enough. I’ve moved everything off the floor though, there’s that much rain.

The thunder, why still a little away from being overhead sounded like an artillery battery being set off. Not a modern battery, more like Napoleonic cannons that when in time broke sound, and when out of time rolled on for 30 seconds. As the storm passed overhead the sound was like standing in a broom closet while a giant slammed the heavy door closed, hard.

The lightning is so bright and low that you could see everything if only your eyes weren’t closed.